I recently had a very bad wake up call and it has been weighing heavily on my mind. I have been feeling overwhelmed with a few things lately and this one major event has pushed me further into a negative head space. I need to make a few changes in my life in order to be able to get back into the positive mindset that I was in previously.
During the last part of the semester I have had books and papers piled everywhere and my desk is a mess. I decided to begin cleaning out papers and things that I don’t need and then realized that I need not only a physical clearing out but also a mental and emotional one as well.
I have to go through the books that I am not going to need in the future and see what I can sell off. This will not only clear up much needed space in my tiny apartment for new books, but it will also free up some cash that I can use towards buying new textbooks for my upcoming classes.
I also need to go through all of the papers and handouts that I have littered all over the place. Some of those papers were the power point lectures that I printed out since I prefer reading paper when I am studying, instead of looking at a screen. I need to make sure I save those slides to my computer so I have a digital copy and then I can go ahead and throw away the paper that I am not using.
I tend to hold on to emotions (like not being able to get over my mother’s death) and these tend to be mostly the negative emotions. I take things personally and I dwell on what I have done wrong, replaying the different ways I could have done something else to change the situation. I need to learn to let go of things because I cannot change the past. I can only change the way I deal with the consequences of what happens as a result of what I did. I also need to learn that not everything that went wrong is my fault and I can accept help when I don’t know what to do. I need to change the way that I think about my future because I do have a very big goal in my future and unless I implement the changed attitude I will not be successful.